Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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