like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
