so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
