my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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