More tranny stories later!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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