It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
