You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
