Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
