D3 body, D1 cock
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
