were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
