we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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