Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
