Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
