I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
