So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
