Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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