we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
