thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
