he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
