Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
