you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
