Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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