I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
