If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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