He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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