at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
