another moral hangover. fuck.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
