Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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