Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
