The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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