i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
