you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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