My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
