So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
are you so shy because you have an std?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
