I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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