someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
