you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Boobs speak an international language.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
