AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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