I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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