just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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