Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
