Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
