bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
