I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We need a shit load of segways right now
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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