you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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