I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
