Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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