We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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