So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
