I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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